Deicide online

By Your Teacher Loving Beast
The period after we broke up wasn't an easy one for me. I felt bad for having to have to hurt her. I rationalized in my mind it was for the best and I continued to try to search for love on the net and to distract myself in an online world called Deicide online. I guess it was a good escape because it allowed me to recreate my character and help me to become stronger on the inside. It helped me learn how to stand up for what I believed in and also I became a legend in the game. I sent an email to my my turkish ex-girlfriend to come and join me in this strange new world, but she never came. It made me sad in some ways but I moved on and refocused on dominating my new little hell. In the game I played as myself and took the ideas personally. I didn't try to kill other players instead I would try to encourage love there and fairness. In many ways I guess I discovered myself to be a good leader and teacher there and it gave me the backbone to stand up for what is logical and right. So many people decide to relax, to not stand for anything or against anything, as the world around them decays because they either believe falsely someone else will do it, or they don't have any time. In Deicide Online, I learned to make the time, and I learned that no one else will care unless you really care. 

They say you have to learn some lessons the hard way in life. When it comes to english, you can learn english the hard way, by being thrown into an english environment and not knowing anything. Most people will try to avoid this at all costs making excuses like, "I don't speak English" or "I don't know English". The funny thing is, is when they say this to me I remind them that they actually did speak english to me and try to remind them how much english is actually in the Turkish language. They giggle and then try to overcome their fear and shock hopefully and at least try. Sadly enough some people still don't get it. Of course they can make these excuses to me, I'm just a beast, or a stupid animal, it's harder to make these excuses to their bosses, their dream girls or boys, or even to themselves in the end. 

So I in many ways Deicide Online taught me the value of not allowing myself the luxury of just giving up and using any excuse to try to get out of something that would be hard to do or accomplish. Sadly enough, the game masters decided to change the rules of the game, which would have forced me to remake my old character, and of course other then the valuable moral lessons I gained from the game and the fact that I may be a beast but not a monster, I wasn't doing anything really valuable with my time. So, I had to give it up and find another place to call home. That I will tell you in the next part. So with that, please take care of yourselves, and don't allow any limitation to stop you from expressing yourselves.

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